Goldengirl's Journals

RIGHT NOW

"Had a bad day, don't talk to me,
gonna ride this out,
My little black heart, breaks apart,
with your big mouth.

And I'm sick of my sickness
Don't touch me, you'll get this.
I'm useless, lazy, perverted,
and you hate me.

You can't save me,
You can't change me,
Well I'm waiting for my wakeup call,
And everything, everything's my fault."

--------------From Unwritten Law - Save Me (Wake-up call)

MY BLACK HEART. DONNIE'S AND JORDAN BIG MOUTHS IN THEIR TWITTER UPDATES. ....BUT I LOVE THEM ANYWAY....

YEP, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP....

BAND SURVEY

OK, THIS IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT TO PICK MY TOP 12 BANDS. BECAUSE, EXCEPT FOR MY TOP 2, MY "FAVORITE BANDS" LIST KEEPS CHANGING DEPENDING ON WHAT MOOD I'M IN :P AND I'LL PROBABLY GET LAUGHED AT FOR MY SH*T MUSIC TASTE XD BUT HERE IT GOES...

First, name your top 12 bands.

1. New Kids On The Block (yes my friends, i'm afraid it's true. i've been afraid to admit it before. but i'm admiting it now.

2. HIM

3. Green Day

4. Roxette

5. Fall Out Boy

6. Mighty Mighty Bosstones

7. Queensryche

8. Eagles

9. Poison

10. 30 Seconds To Mars

11. Matchbox 20

12. Robert Downey Jr. (yes, he did make an album)

Band number one:

How long have you been listening to them?

21 years...since 1988 ;)

Name one band member.

Donnie Wahlberg :D

Does this band have a hot lead singer?

It has 5 HOT lead singers :P The HOTTEST being Donnie of course!!!! Don't you agree?... http://goldengirl-myfantasyboys.buzznet.com/user/photos/o_______________o/?id=53320711 & http://goldengirl-myfantasyboys.buzznet.com/user/photos/definetely-right-stuff/?id=49448941&p=5

How long have they been around?

23 years...since 1986

Is this your favorite band?

HELL YEAH!!!!! I <3 them!! NKOTB 4EVER!!!!!!

On to band numero DEUX!

Are they all girls? Or all guys? Or a mix?

Guys

Can you name each member of this band?

Ville Valo

Linde Lindstrom

Mige Amour

Gas Lipstick

Burton

What was the first song you heard from them?

Don't remember...but I think it was something from the Love Metal album.

How many guitar players does this band have?

One...although Ville does play the acoustic guitar on occasion.

What kind of music do they play?

Love Metal XD

Band #3. HUZZAH!!

Do any of your friends like this band?

Yep, most of them do ;)

Is this band mainstream or indie?

Mainstream

What are their lyrics usually about?

Uhm, all types of things. Teenage angst. Being an outcast and a failure, etc. etc....

How many cds of theirs do you have?

All, except the new one...which I don't think is out yet, right?

Have you ever seen them live?

No :'(

Are they still together?

Yes

Onward to band #4.

Write some random lyrics by them.

"She Says hello, you fool, I love you. Come On and join the joyride" :D

OR one of my FAVORITE lyrics..

"Bang on the headdrum. Shaking like a madbull"

And if you don't what those lyrics mean, then you are probably too young to know what they mean XD

How many full-length albums have they put out?

Like 12 or 13...it's to say for sure because some of their albums were only released in Europe.

Why do you like this band?

BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME AND THEY REMIND ME OF THE 80'S ;) PLUS PER AND MARIE HAVE WONDERFUL VOICES ;)

Are they an older or more modern band?

Modern

Have they ever written a song you hate?

Well, actually yeah..2 or 3 songs...

And then came # FIVE

How many members do they have?

What's your favorite album of theirs?

From Under The Cork Tree

What was the first song you heard from them?

Sugar, We're Goin Down

Are(were) they on an indie record label or a major?

Major

Do they have a logo?

Yes

Name two members.

Pete Wentz

Patrick Stump

Band number SIX:

Write some random lyrics by them.

"Remember that night. It seems so clear. Now he's back and I'm glad he's here. 3 long years, million of beers but the devil is back. So girls dry your tears. " = from the song Devil's Night Out

But for the record, they are NOT devil worshipers!!!! It's just a song.

How many albums of theirs do you own?

10...I'm missing 3 ;(

Is this band well-known?

No :( They should be!! They deserve to be. They on big hit back in the 90's. Although if you watch the late night talk show "Jimmy Kimmel Live" then you probably know who they are. Because their lead singer has been Jimmy Kimmels announcer for the past few years ;)

How long have you been listening to them?

Since the mid-90's ;)

Do you like their band name?

Yeah, I love it!

Do you know anyone else who likes them?

Not really :'(

WISH THAT I WAS THERE...Survey thingy ;P

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Bat Country â�“ Avenged Sevenfold

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Only the Lonely â�“ Roy Orbison (too true)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Someday â�“ Nickelback

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Kidding â�“ Imogen Heap (live)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
This Time â�“ Sawyer Brown

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Purple Rain - Prince

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Loser â�“ 3 Doors Down (Eeek! That sucks!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Cailin â�“ Unwritten Law (Awwww, thatâ�™s sweet)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Two Out Of Three Ainâ�™t Bad â�“ Meat Loaf

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Runaway â�“ Bon Jovi

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I Can Tell â�“ BBMak (uhm, not really)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Heartache Every Moment â�“ HIM (acoustic) =â�™(

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Dirty - Christina Aguilera (buahahahahaha YEAH!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
If You Go Away â�“ New Kids On The Block (Awww, yeah ;) )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDIING?
The Hardest Thing â�“ 98 Degrees (Eeek! I hope not!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dressed For Success â�“ Roxette (hahahahaha)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Single â�“ New Kids On The Block (uhm, noooo)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
I Have Always Loved You â�“ Enrique Iglesias (acoustic)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
One On One â�“ Jordan Knight (buahahahaha)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Behind The Crimson Door â�“ HIM

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Nine In The Afternoon â�“ Panic! At The Disco

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Wish That I Was There - Hanson

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL :)

I WISH YOU ALL A BEAUTIFUL, WISH-FILLED CHRISTMAS :-)))))) I LOVE YOU ALL :D

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Celebrity crushes PART 2!

Some of their pics are already in my celbrity crushes gallery (if ya wanna see what any of them look like.)

Ken Marino (actor-played Professor David Wilder on the tv show â�œDawsonâ�™s Creekâ�, among many other tv shows (Veronica Mars, Reno911, The State [MTV â�˜92] and movies.)~~~present My current obsession J Although my obsession with him is nothing new. Iâ�™ve loved him since 1992 :P His hair, his eyes, those lips, his soft sexy voice, that absolutely gorgeous smile *sigh*

Glenn Quinn (Irish actor-played â�˜Doyleâ�™ in Angel [first season-11 episodes]â�¦I was very sad when they killed him :â�™( )~~~present Was my total obsession until about a month ago.

Jude Law (British actor-played â�˜Gigolo Joeâ�™ in the movie â�œA.I.: Artificial Intelligenceâ�. In head to toe patent leatherâ�¦YUM ^ ^)~~~was pastâ�¦but now present because I watched that movie again recently :P

Drew Seeley (singer-sang (and wrote, I think) â�œDance With Meâ� (ft. Belinda) from the soundtrack of the Disney movie â�œThe Cheetah Girls 2â�. Actor-played â�˜Troyâ�™ in the concert tour of Disneyâ�™s â�œHigh School Musicalâ�)~~~was past. But now Iâ�™m kinda starting to crush on him again the last couple months XD

Neal McDonough (actorâ�”heâ�™s been in a million movies and tv shows, including the movie â�œWalking Tallâ�) ~~~present

Johnny Galecki (actor-played â�˜Davidâ�™ in â�œRoseanneâ� (â�˜92-â�˜97) and now he plays â�˜Leonardâ�™ in â�œThe Big Bang Theoryâ�)~~~present

Gordon M. Woolvett (actor-played Seamus Harper on the tv show â�œAndromedaâ�)

Ben Bass (actor-played â�˜Vachonâ�™ in the third season of â�œForever Knightâ�)~~~present

Jeremy Piven (actor-currently co-stars in the tv show â�œEntourageâ�)~~~pastâ�¦for now

Grant Imahara (a very smart dude, robotics expert. Helps Jamie and Adam out on â�œMythbustersâ� on the Discovery channel)~~~pastâ�¦for now

Christien Anholt (British actor-played â�˜Nigel Baileyâ�™ in the tv show â�œRelic Hunterâ�)~~~pastâ�¦for now

Jason Marsden (actor-played â�˜Rich Halkeâ�™ on the old tv show â�œStep By Stepâ�) ~~~past

John Stamos (actor-played â�˜Uncle Joeyâ�™ in the old tv show â�œFull Houseâ� )~~~past

Jerry Oâ�™Connell (actor-has played in many movies (like â�œKangaroo Jackâ�). And has starred in a few tv shows as well (like â�œMy Secret Identityâ�.)~~~past

Benjamin Bratt (actor-played â�˜Detective â�˜ on the tv show Law & Order)~~~past

Oliver Hudson (played â�˜Eddieâ�™ in the last season of â�œDawsonâ�™s Creekâ�)~~~past

Billy Zane (played â�˜Drakeâ�™ in â�œCharmedâ�â�¦i think it was the showâ�™s last season)~~~past

Joey Lawrence (singer, actor-co-starred in the tv show â�œBlossomâ�)~~~past

I HAVE A THING FOR GUYS WITH BRITISH ACCENTS :DDD

Personality trait

MY WORST PERSONALITY TRAIT

JEALOUSY

Actually, I have a few bad personality traits; anger and bitterness being 2 of the worst :/ But for this journal I will be focusing on my jealousy. My jealousy is not just limited to my romantic relationships either. My jealousy rears itâ�™s ugly head in my friendships, my family relationships, and even my celebrity crushes. I know this is not a good thing. Could I change this...could I try to work on this and try to lessen or even get rid of jealousy entirely? Yeah, I probably could. In fact, I probably should. But I havenâ�™t, nor do I see myself doing so anytime soon. Is that stupid of me to not try and fix my jealousy problem? Yeah, I am sure it is. But thatâ�™s the way it is.

I get jealous when a guy I â�œlikeâ� likes/wants someone else. I get jealous when my mom says yes to whatever my grandma wants/asks for and then says no to me when I ask for something. I get jealous when my mom buys whatever she wants, but doesnâ�™t really â�œneedâ�, then says â�œnoâ� to me when I ask for some small (inexpensive) thing that i want. As silly and pointless as it is, I get jealous when a celebrity I have a crush on has a girlfriend or wife.

I have more than 1 friend that I consider to be my best friend. I have 7 best friends (6 of them being here on buzznet). And I consider many more of my buzznet friends to be very close friends although I have never met any of you. Yet I sometimes get jealous if one of my close friends appears to be closer to one of their other friends. Or if one of my close friends appears to talk to their other friends more often than they talk to me. I know I really have no right to get jealous of such things and I know it makes me a bit of a hypocrite. And i apologize to all of you who I have gotten jealous over. I just canâ�™t seem to help it.

Iâ�™m not writing this journal to make anyone feel bad or guilty. Iâ�™m not writing it to get pity. Or to make to make you feel sorry for me. And Iâ�™m not making excuses. Why then, you may ask, am I writing this journal? Well, I was reading the 5 or 6 journals of one of my best buzznet friends and got really jealous (and, i'm ashamed to admit, kind of angry to). Soâ�¦I just felt I had to write this. But this is my problem. Iâ�™m not asking any of you to act like we are closer friends than we actually are just to spare my feelings or anything. There is no need for that :D

Love ya all<3

*hugs & kisses*

Lyrics Game

Yeah, that game! You know it, set my player in random, write down the first line of the first 20 songs I got (no matter if they suck, and trust me, some do). And, you guess them. If you google any of these, Heidi Montag will sneak into your room at night and sing to your ear. Ok not really but it would be cheating and cheating is LAME. Really :(

I got this from my sweet freind Mimi (sappysuperunknown10) :D

1. Lay it down, pull my heart to the ground. Times getting cold, now the leaves all turn hard and blue.

2. Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue. Thought i heard you talking softly.

3. You've always been a friend of mine. And that's the way we'll be 'til the day i die.

4. With music by our side. To break the color lines. Let's work together. To improve our way of life.

5. Drink down the gin and kerosene, And come spit off bridges with me, just to keep us warm.

6. Anyone who have a love close to this knows what i'm saying.

~~7. He said i'm worth it, his one desire. I know things about 'em that you wouldn't to read about.~~ Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar [You got another one, Mimi :D]

8. If you had one wish, what would it be? If you had one wish, would it be about me?

9. I'm good to go. And it's going nowhere fast. It could be worse. It could be taking you there with me.

~~10. And i'd give up forever to touch you. Cause i know you feel me somehow.~~ Goo Goo Dolls - Iris [WAY TO GO, MIMI]

11. There'll be no string to bind your hands. Not if my love can bind your heart.

12. I still take you to the bed. But it's the you i'd face instead.

13. Now i'll tell you what i've done for you. 50 thousand tears i've cried.

14. Blinded i am and so are you, by shedding tears.

15. Am i more than you bargained for yet? I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear.

16. Sun has a fallen. Another day gone without you.

17. Waking up at the start of the end of the world, But it's feeling just like every other morning before.

18. Goodbye four leaf clovers. Hello gone awry.

19. The candle plays the hourglass. The days go and all i do id think of you and wonder where you are at night.

20. Not a dry eye in the house. After love's curtain comes down.

Man, most of those songs are gonna be easy :)

Another survey

Yes, i did this survey twice. But some of my answers have changed, so i did it again.

1) How are you at the moment?

Horrible, miserable

2) Why?

Becasue a week ago, my life got worse than it already was.

3) Give me 5 bestest persons at buzz.

I won't give any names, you know who you are guys;)

4) Do you like yourself?

Most of the time.

5) What do you like to do in your free time?

Go on internet, listen to music, watch tv, watch dvd's, read

6) Do you think you're able to do everything you'd like to[right now, from that place, are you confident enough ||not in future]?

Not even close

7) Do you think fighting make any sense?

Nope. But i do it anyway. It's human nature.

8) Was last question clever?

Kind of

9) Which places you'd like to visit?

New York, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Rome (Italy), Venice (Italy), Paris (France)

10) Honestly, give me one person from buzz, who made you feel special, like their friend? why?

They know who they are...i hope :)

11) What's your mobile phone?

Don't have one

12) Would you like to have (new) one?

YES

13) Do you like to:

a) Smile?

Yeah, although i don't do it very often.

b) Write poems?

Not anymore

c) Eat?

Yeah, but only in the evening

14) English?

My native language. I love it.

15) French?

I can't speak it. But it's a very beautiful, sensual language.

16) Slovene?

Never heard it.

17) Polish?

Never heard it.

18) Sports?

I don't play them. But i watch some.

19) Internet?

LOVE IT!!

20) Do you think life gets better or worse day by day?

Mine gets worse :'(

21) Are you nervous or calm person?

Both. It depends on the situation.

22) Is there any message you'd like to tell the world?

Don't let your partents ruin your life.

23) What's your favourite line in the song?

"For a kiss so fatal and so warm", "The space that's in between insane and insecure", and many, many more....

24) The cuttest thing you've ever heard?

The meows of little kittens :)

25) Do you love your parents?

I don't remember my dad. But i love the thought of him. I love what he did for me while he was alive. I love my mom...but i hate her at the same time :'(

26) What would you do if tomorrow is the last day of your life?

Try to meet all of my buzz friends before i die. And see HIM in concert. And have one night of passion with Ville Valo :D

27) Do you often think about death?

I do now :(

28) Is this the last question?

I guess so.

I will tag few people but if you don't want to do this, it's fine with me:D have fun.

HELL

NOTE: Wendi (xxtheoraclexx)â�”you don't have to read this. I love you, my friend. And i don't mean any offense or anything :D Butâ�¦i don't need to be told to "snap out of it" or something :)

Iâ�™M IN HELL

For 18 years Iâ�™ve lived (with my mother and grandmother) in a kinda small, but mostly comfortable place that I called homeâ�¦until now. For about 6 months now, my mom has been trying to find a new place or us to live. A place that was closer to where she worked. Ever since she brought up the subject of us moving, Iâ�™ve hoped that she wouldnâ�™t be able to find a new house. At least not before I was able to move to New York with Cali. But a little over a month ago, she found a new house to rent in a nearby town. She asked me multiple times to come see the house. I kept refusing, hoping that something would happen and we wouldnâ�™t have to move to this house. But my mom rented the houseâ�¦even though she knew I didnâ�™t wanna move there. So, for the past month or so my mom has been packing our stuff and moving it to the new house. Meanwhile, Iâ�™ve been hoping against hope that something would happenâ�¦the new house would burn down or collapseâ�¦and we wouldnâ�™t have to move. But on Wednesday we packed the last of our stuff and left the place I called home, and moved to ugly house in this damn boring f*cking town. I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have 4 cats. I managed to bring 3 of them to the new house. The fourth one is still at my old place. She only comes home at night. I will go back and try to catch her and bring her here. Iâ�™ll keep trying until I get her. None of my cats are very happy at being moved. In fact, they hate about as much as I do. Thursday night one of them meowed at me for hours and hours asking to be let out of the house in to out fenced backyard. Finally I couldnâ�™t stand to listen to her cry anymore, so I let her out. Unfortunately this fence has a hole in it. A hole that a cat can get through and escape. My cat escaped. She was gone. I figured she had run away. It is now about 3 am Saturday morning. I saw my cat in our backyard about half an hour ago. But she is refusing to come in the house. And she escape through the fence again and be gone at any time. Itâ�™s my fault sheâ�™s goneâ�¦mine and my momâ�™s for forcing us to move here!!!! The other 2 cats I have here are crying to be let out into the yard almost constantly. I canâ�™t let them out because they might go through the hole in the fence and disappear too. We canâ�™t watch tv because they canâ�™t install our cable until Monday. And without cable, we canâ�™t get ANY tv stations. The US Open (the big tennis tournament) in going on right now. As some of you may know, I love Roger Federer :D He is a famous tennis player. He has a good chance of winning the US Open. But I canâ�™t watch his matches because I have no tv :â�™( Watching Roger Federer play tennis is one of the only things that makes me truly happyâ�¦at least for a few hours. My mom could have had our cable installed earlier, bur she didnâ�™t. I hate this town. I hate this house. And although I love my mom (she is my family, after all)â�¦I kinda hate her too for taking away from my home. Plus, Iâ�™m still living with the 2 people who annoy me (and piss me off) the most!!!!!! I love my familyâ�¦but I donâ�™t always like them. You know what I mean? I havenâ�™t been this unhappy since I missed that HIM concert last year. Iâ�™ve been crying myself to sleep for the last 3 nights. If I donâ�™t get out of here and away from my familyâ�¦i will dieâ�¦my heart, my soul, and maybe my body as well. Iâ�™M IN HELLâ�¦MY OWN PRIVATE HELL!!!!!

Another buzznet survey...kinda philosphical ;)

I GOT THIS FROM MIMI (sappysuperunknown10)

1)How are you at the moment?
Lonely, sad, majorly unhappy

2) Why?
Because my friends all live many, many miles awayâ�¦most of them in other countries. I have to live with my family still (in a damn boring town) because I canâ�™t afford to live by myself. I donâ�™t have a guy who loves meâ�¦whom I love.

3) Give me 5 bestest persons at buzz.
Just five?!! Cali, Lucy, Edith, Mimi, Wendiâ�¦and Katja, Barbie, Monica, Deborah (NOT in any particular order)

4) Do you like yourself?
Sometimes

5) What do you like to do in your free time?
Listen to music, watch movies, watch tv, read mystery and vampire novels

6) Do you think you're able to do everything you'd like to [right now, from that place, are you confident enough //not in future]?
Nope

7) Do you think fighting makes any sense?
Noâ�¦but I do it anyway

8) Was last question clever?

Kinda

9) Which places would you like to visit?

New York, Paris, London, Rome (Italy), Venice (Italy), Hawaii, Las Vegas

10) Honestly, give me one person from buzz, who made you feel special, like their friend?

Caliâ�¦among many others (Lucy, Edith, Katja, Mimi, Monica, Barbie, etc. etc.)

11) What's your mobile phone?
Donâ�™t have one

12) Would you like to have (new) one?
YES

13) Do you like to smile?
Yeah, I guess

14) Write poems?
Not anymore. I used to.

15) Eat?

At night.

16) English?
My native language. I love it ;)

17) French?
I love it. Itâ�™s a beautiful, sensual language :) But I canâ�™t speak it.

18) Slovene?
Never heard a single word of it. But Iâ�™m sure itâ�™s a nice language.

19) Polish?
Too complicated.

20) Sports?
Playing or watching? Playingâ�¦Iâ�™m not a team player. Swimming is awesome though ;)

21) Internet?

22) Do you think life gets better or worse day by day?
It has its ups and downs I think. But mostly my life just keeps getting worse.

23) Are you nervous or calm person?

I can be both. It depends on the situation.

24) Is there any message you'd like to tell the world?

STOP THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!! AND LEAGALIZE GAY MAIRAGE!!!!!!!!

25) What's your favorite line in a song?
Just one?!! I have so manyâ�¦â�For a kiss so fatal and so warmâ� (HIM â�“ Heartache Every Moment), â�œShe thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorwayâ� (Matchbox 20 â�“ 3 a.m.), many, many moreâ�¦

26) The cutest thing you've ever heard?

Kitties meows

27) Do you love your parents?

I do. But I donâ�™t always like my mom.

28) What would you do if tomorrow is the last day of your life?
Try to meet all my Buzznet friends in one day. And go see a HIM concert.

29) Do you often think about death?

Not really

30) Is this the last question?

31) Are you sick of tag-tests?

Not yet